The Joker Goes to the Fair
by dragonrider847
Summary: Harley has finally persuaded the Joker to join her on an evening out. Of course things don't go as smoothly as she might have expected.


'Can we get candyfloss?' I asked sweetly, skipping ahead of him.

He rolled his eyes at me and nodded, grudgingly. I grinned delightedly at him and tugged him along by the hand. He deliberately trailed as slowly as he could, one eyebrow cocked at my efforts.

A handful of spare change later I re-joined him on a park bench just outside the fairground and watched the garish lights flash as the Ferris wheel turned slowly against the night sky.

'Mistah J, you fit in perfectly here. Look – your face is even on the top of that stand!' He looked over at the board which was painted with a giant clown face, bearing down on the visitors as they passed. He shoved me along the bench.

'This place is horrific. And I'm better looking than that…thing.' He pointed a menacing finger at the sign and yanked me back over to his side. I sighed and rested my head back on his shoulder.

'What do you want to do then?' I asked, still hypnotised by the whirling lights.

'The only fun around here would be if you filtered that spotlight into the shape of a bat and waited around for some real game to arrive.' He chuckled. 'I'd play whack-a-bat for a pink stuffed unicorn'

I laughed at him as he pulled me up and wrapped his arm around my waist.

'I'm not kidding when I say I'm literally dying of boredom in this place.' He hooked his coat sleeve up with a jerk and glanced at his watch.

'See – you've wasted half an hour of my life'

Ouch. Thankfully, I was used to his crudity by now, and said nothing.

'I know what would make the night worthwhile though… c'mon – lets go on adventure.' He emphasised the 'ture', drawing it out thoughtfully as he looked around. Ah dear. Things were about to get mad.

He pushed me roughly ahead of him, as he began to stride toward the darker edge of the fairground, making for the surrounding woodland. I broke into a jog as I sensed his elbow fly towards my back again. We ran together until we reached the fence line, where he paused briefly to hop the barbed wire. Just as he was about to make for the trees, he turned and held the barbs down for me. What a gentleman. I smiled and then grimaced as he let go whilst my leg was just clearing the fence, feeling the sharp metal pierce my skin. Never mind.

He stopped when we had made approximately one hundred metres into the forest, and looked around, searching for something.

'What exactly are you planning on doing?' I asked.

'Planting explosive.' He replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'Of course. How stupid of me – I should've guessed earlier...' I said sarcastically, and peered up at his shadowed face which was now studying the charge that he had retrieved from his tardis-like pocket.

'You'll see Harls, you'll see,' He patted my cheek with his gloved hand and went back to struggling with the device. I took it from his hands and reinserted the wire that he had knocked loose.

'It's kinda difficult to do it with gloves on, Mistah J.' He smiled at me, his scars wrinkling at the sides, and took it back, before setting the small block of explosive amongst a clump of ferns. He spun around, looked confused for a moment and then pointed his finger back in the vague direction we had come in.

'Let's go!' I was pulled through the trees by his still-gloved hand until we emerged from the forest next to the old fairground. On the development of a new set of rides, the fairground had decided to decommission the former grounds, which now sat motionless and dark. However, following a series of incidents involving vandalism of the site, a stand had been situated right next to it in order to allow the drinks vendor to keep watch.

The Joker pulled me behind a puppet stall and held me still with him. A few minutes later, a loud crack erupted from the forest, and I could see an orange glow flare up from over his shoulder. He chuckled bemusedly, transfixed by the flames, and then turned me around so that I could watch the vendor run towards the group of people who had accumulated, dumbstruck, along the fence line. Once again, he grabbed me and strode over to the abandoned carousel. Its canopy was missing several lights, and the glass booth in the centre was smashed and foreboding. I sat astride a grey horse and stroked its plastic mane.

'Mistah J, did you really just blow up a forest so that you could play on the rides?' I asked in disbelief as his head emerged from inside the booth.

'Of course. Well, that and the fact that I wanted to blow _something_ up at least.'

Suddenly, there was a crackling sound, and the remaining lights came to life. Slowly, the carousel creaked into motion, and the horses began to rise and fall, jittering as they did so. I laughed delightedly and kicked my legs in the air. I looked around at the Joker who was standing watching me, his arms folded and an amused expression on his face. I beckoned him over to join me, intending for him to pick an adjacent horse. Instead, he sat behind me on the grey horse, pushing me towards the neck in order to fit us both. He raised my arms onto the pole and secured my wrists with a vice-like grip as he kissed my neck. The man only permitted affection when he was in control of it. Most of the time, anyway, I thought with a wicked grin.

'What are you smiling about?' He breathed into my ear.

'Nothing – lets go on the waltzer now!' I slid off the horse and ran over to the enclosed ride opposite. The carriages were covered by thick plastic sheets, and there were twigs and leaves jammed down the gaps in the rotating floor, suggesting that this one wasn't coming back to life in such a hurry. I struggled with one of the covers, freeing the straps with my knife. As I leaned over to finish moving the plastic, my knees buckled as a boot made contact with the back of my legs. I fell onto the seat as his body made it in smoothly over mine.

'Now isn't this fun? Maybe I'll spare time to be with you more often.' I giggled at the irony of the situation – the way that I was crumpled across the hard plastic, making it more comfortable for him to lie across. Swiftly, he put a finger over my lips and realigned my spine with his. Confused voices were approaching, shouting over the crackle of flames and the wailing of the carousel organ. The Joker quietly pulled the plastic cover back over the carriage, enclosing us in darkness.

I got the feeling we might not be coming out for a while.


End file.
